When Healing Delays

I have fallen down many times during this season of contending for the miraculous, and often wondered if my theology is correct. I ask the Lord, is healing really a part of the atonement? How do we enter into a living faith in a certain area? I know that the word of God must be mixed with faith in order to obtain the promises (Hebrews 4). I also know that faith is a power, not mental agreement. I would even go so far to say that faith is the very Spirit of God apprehending the promises of God within the the believer.

I also firmly believe, based on the word of God and my personal experience, that there is an experience where faith moves from mental belief to a living reality, when it comes alive. When faith comes alive, you know it. Before I experienced divine freedom from my smoking habit, I mentally believed the scripture, "who the Son sets free is free indeed," but I wasn't free. But it was my very belief in the scripture that fueled my desire to apprehend this freedom. Nine months later, after marinating in the truth of scripture, faith came alive. When faith came alive, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was really free.

When the shift occured, it was pure joy. A powerful reality exploded inside of me: I am free from my addiction! Jesus Christ has made me free! Substantive, tangible power was released when faith came alive. The freedom came shortly thereafter-within days- and it was as if I had never smoked a day in my life. I could drive by 7/11 and I didn't have to make a smoke run. I was compelled to shout it from the rooftops! Had I not testified in church, I am absolutely certain that I would have physically imploded, such was the power that was bursting inside my spirit.

That experience showed me that there is a tremendous difference betwen mental belief (hope), and living faith. Faith has power, substance. Faith is positively convinced. Hope catapults us into faith, if we do not lose heart. Herein lies the crux of the matter, and the true battle, I think; can we hold on and hope until living faith is birthed within through the indwelling Spirit of God?

With Dad's cancer, I have had hope, but not true faith yet. I have mentally believed for a miracle, in the sense that I agree with the word of God. I wonder then, why has faith not sprung to life yet? That vibrant, living, joyful, substantive power that knows the promise will come to pass? One thing I do know is that it takes time and focused study and prayer to move from mental belief to living faith. What happens when the time that it takes to build a living faith works against our belief? In other words, what happens when the answer delays for a long, long time?

But cancer is not the same as smoking. Cancer is on another level entirely I think. If a smoking habit took 9 months of waiting on God, how long does cancer take? Based on my experience with smoking, I knew that it could take awhile to move faith from my head into the substantive realm, a living faith that implodes with power and pulls heaven down to earth. But in long battles, we tend to lose heart and give up before faith has a chance to fully blossom. Will my belief wear out under the contstant atrophy of circumstance?

For me, tiime is the greatest hindrance. Just time. Too much of it. I cannot let go, however. Hope in God propels me. Though I feel much like a battle weary soldier, holes in my boots, frostbit toes, I simply refuse to raise the white flag of surrender to the enemy of cancer. Why should I? Because the healing hasn't come yet? Because others pray and die? Because I don't see evidence?But my heart answers that we live by the word of God, not by what we see and reason. And we are told to never lose heart. So how can I quit? Besides, there is no joy in letting go of God for Dad's healing; and joy is the hallmark of walking in his will.

I recall early on in this journey, I was overcome by the Lord's presence while in prayer about Dad. It was as if the Spirit of the Lord was pleading with his body, the church, to believe all the inheritance that we has in Jesus Christ. So much bought and paid for, but not experienced by his body! The experience was so powerful that I had to pull off of the highway, such was the intesity of his heart too see His children experience freedom, healing, and deliverance. Maybe that is why I am still on this journey. I can't forget the intense longing-passion even-of the Lord.

So, if you have made it this far in this post, I just want to say, no matter the length of the delay, do not let go of God. He longs to give us the kingdom.
God longs to give us the kingdom, but that is not enough. He must have children who will expect the kingdom; who will wait on the kingom. Wait on the lord, wait, I say, on Him.